Confession: I don’t think I’m at the right park.

Well not the rightpartof the park, anyway. I drove about 10 minutes out of campus to find a part of the park where I could park my car, and I did that. I’m definitely in White Clay, but not the part that’s anywherenear UD. Whether I’m supposed to be here or not, I’m here. And I’m quite content about the area I discovered. I’ve been sitting here for about 5 or 6 minutes now. I wanted to digest my surroundings before I began to write. The land that I’m on right now is more or less flat – lots of grass, some trees. I found a tree that I like and I’m sitting against it. It reminds me of Holmdel Park, a park near my house I go to to run… Ok, I couldn’t even type that with a straight face. It’s a park near my house where I go to read, and watchpeople run. As much as I wish I was, I’ve never been a runner. Never will be.

Today is a gorgeous freaking day. Its Monday, around 6 pm. The sun is in that spot where its perfectly leveled with me, warming the right side of my body as I’m sitting upright in the grass. It’ll set soon. I’m not sure why I picked this area. I guess I like how it’s off to the side, away from everything. Not too much shade, not too much sun. I like this spot. From where I’m sitting I can count 7 trees immediately around me. Of course, everywhere I look, there are trees. But the one’s in my direct field of vision are what I’m paying attention to at the moment. I’m taking it all in but, to be honest with you, I have no idea what I’m looking at. I couldn’t tell you what kind of tree I’m sitting under or anything about the ones around me. I can’t tell you anything about the tangled grass I’m sitting on. I see normal green blades, clovers, and big leaves all spread on the ground underneath me. Can’t really say much else. All I know is that I like it here. I’ve always liked being outside. No distractions, no annoying roommates, no phone calls, no texts. I live for times like this. I’ll probably just sit here and read or listen to music even after this journal is done because, well, why not?

A fly just buzzed past my ear. I’m trying to sit here and be one with the bugs ‘cause I know there are probably a million of them around me and they’re not bothering me so its fine I have to accept it. I just hate getting bit by mosquitos. It’s one thing I can’t stand. I need bug spray next time I come here.

I just got distracted for like 6 minutes because I was watching a caterpillar make its way through blades of grass. Do they have eyes? When it gets to the end of one blade, it moved its head back and forth and back and forth until it found another blade to latch onto. I wonder what it’s doing. It’s pretty cute.

Its 6:45 now. The sun is behind the trees and it’s definitely stickier out. Maybe it’s going to rain. I hear a LOT of stuff going down. Buzzing and chirping and…squawking? I never really took the time to isolate all of these sounds. I usually just mush them all together and categorize it as “nature.” I don’t want to do that anymore. If I’m going to sit here, or sit anywhere outside, once a week for the whole semester, I want to know what I’m hearing. I feel like I wont be able to identify any of it on my own, even with the right tools. How do you look up, “a super intense buzzing noise that starts out low then gets really loud then stops coming all the way from the top of the tree next to me?” I feel like you can’t. Maybe I’m wrong.

I forgot to bring a blanket. I have to remember to do that next time. Blanket and bug spray. I think I would be much more comfortable if I could lay down and just look at everything and listen to everything. I know I can do that in just plain grass but, you know, bugs. Other than that, I think I’m going to love these hours I spend out here. I need moments like this in my life. A quiet where it’s not tooquiet. I’m not alone in my room being deafened by silence, but I’m not out in public where the noise is just too much to be at peace. I hear birds, bugs, cars, and people in the distance. Today, this tiny space in (what I had no idea was) a massive state park, is my own, and I’m loving it. A huge flock of crows (I think) just flew over my head. That was awesome. I love birds.

Okay, I’m starving. Need to go get myself some dinner. I don’t feel like cooking today, so it’ll probably be something along the lines of a mass produced, unhealthy meal that consists of high levels of fat, salt, and sugar. Can’t wait to think about that while I eat it! As much as I’d kill for a healthy meal filled with produce from a local farm, I’m in college and I have about $20 to my name. Not my fault the good stuff is so expensive.