By Silvia Atelo Okwach
One year ago, I stepped off a plane into the unknown. I was a new international student in the United States, embarking on a journey filled with excitement and anticipation but also shadowed by fear, worry, and anxiety. Everything felt overwhelming—the unfamiliar environment, the cultural differences, the weather, and even the food. I questioned every decision I made, unsure whether I was on the right path or if I even belong here.
My journey began at the University of Delaware, where I took up a part-time job at the UD catering department. I had no prior experience in catering and often felt out of place, fumbling through tasks and learning on the go. At the same time, I was diving into technical courses, learning SQL, SAS, and Python, despite having no background in programming. The learning curve was steep, and there were many moments when I felt overwhelmed and wondered if I had taken on too much.
The cultural differences added another layer of complexity to my experience. I was adapting to a new way of life, grappling with the unfamiliarity of American customs, the diversity in food that was far from what I was used to, and a climate that was often harsh and unpredictable. It was a constant battle to find my footing, and self-doubt seemed to shadow my every step.
But amid this sea of uncertainty, I found support in unexpected places. Sarah Dix was a constant source of encouragement and comfort. She provided a safe space to share my fears and reassured me that it was okay to feel lost. Jessica Venturi, whose office I nearly burst into tears in during the career fair preparations, became a pillar of strength, reminding me that it was okay to be vulnerable.
Libby Cussack and Dr. Andrea saw things in me that I couldn’t see in myself. Their unwavering belief in me was a beacon of hope during the darkest times. They called out strengths I didn’t know I possessed, challenging me to grow beyond my self-imposed limits. Their friendship and support, along with the camaraderie of Sarah, were vital in transforming my fears into courage. Dr. Andrea’s guidance, in particular, was instrumental in helping me recognize my potential. Learning about Barton in Dr. Andrea’s class, I began to see glimpses of his journey in my own—a series of small steps filled with uncertainty yet leading to growth and self-discovery.
Through all of this, I learned to say “yes” to opportunities that scared me, to raise my hand even when I wasn’t sure of the answer, and to speak up and ask questions even when my voice shook. I learned to give myself and others grace—to accept that it’s okay to not have everything figured out and that we’re all learning as we go.
Now, a year later, I find myself on the other side of the journey. I still have my fears, and there are days when uncertainty grips me, but I am not the same person who arrived a year ago. There has been immense growth—not just academically, but socially, emotionally, and mentally. I am more confident now, not because I have all the answers, but because I have learned to navigate the unknown with a little more grace and a lot more courage.
This year, I had the joy of being part of the BAIM orientation for incoming students as a member of the BAIM GSA Executive Board. It was a full-circle moment, standing there, realizing how much I had grown. I saw myself in the eyes of the new students—scared, unsure, overwhelmed. I was now in a position to offer them the comfort I had once desperately sought. To tell them it’s okay to be scared. To assure them that they are not alone, that there is a community ready to hold their hand and walk with them, one day at a time.
Joining the First Year Seminar (FYS) program team has been a blessing. Dr. Meghan Biery, Michelle Shumate, and Bella—our cool dog manager—have made this new year already amazing as it starts. Their warmth and enthusiasm are infectious, and their support has been invaluable. Working alongside them, I now have the opportunity to share my journey with the incoming class, to tell them it’s okay to be scared, to feel lost, to doubt themselves. But also to remind them that growth happens in these moments of fear and uncertainty. We will figure it out together, step by step.
Reflecting on this past year, I am filled with gratitude for the people who supported me, the challenges that pushed me, and the growth that emerged from it all. I am still learning, still growing, and still facing fears. But I am not where I started. I am stronger, more confident, and more sure that I am on the right path. And that, to me, is the greatest achievement of all.
To every student who has left home for college, I promise you, we all are just stumbling around, finding our way. And that’s perfectly okay. Don’t take yourself out of the room, and don’t take yourself out of the race. Keep showing up Together, we will continue to learn, grow, and support each other through it all.
