Submitted by Emily Mongold on the 2018 summer session program in Salamanca, Spain sponsored by the Department of Languages, Literatures and Cultures…
Growing up in America, everyone is told by their parents constantly to say “please” and “thank you.” No matter what you are asking for, no matter who you are talking too, it is rude and disrespectful to not say please or thank you. You treat everyone with respect from teachers to parents and from friends to waiters. If someone lends you a pencil, you thank them. If you are asking for a small favor like closing the window, you say please. You thank the waiter for bringing your food and you thank your Mom for clearing your plate. Even saying sorry is considered polite, to the point that I apologize for someone else getting in my way. Being in Spain, I have learned that I have to break that habit. Our professor told us that we do not say please when asking for a pen because it is not a big deal. We do not say thank you in Spain for every little favor, and you do not apologize for showing up five or ten minutes late to meet a friend because it is not that big of a deal and the only thing that is important is that you are here now. Although in my very first Spanish class in high school I learned that “gracias” means “thank you” and “de nada” means “you’re welcome,” I have realized that you cannot really translate our cultural norm to theirs. “De nada” literally translates to “of nothing,” but even that does not translate well. What is important is not the words dismissing the thanks that they are receiving, but the fact that they only say “gracias” for larger favors and something that is a big deal, so that the word does not lose its meaning or importance. Although language can be translated, to really learn and accept the Spanish culture, I have to break the habit of saying “please” and “thank you” so that the words still have meaning.