Submitted by Nathaniel Borders on the 2016 winter session program in India sponsored by the Department of English…
The Bengali wedding we attended was so entirely different than one might be in the States. It would be unrecognizable if an outsider walked in with no hints. People gather in a hall where there are the usual seats and raised stage, but that’s it in terms of similarities. We took a picture with the bride who was receiving guests before anything started and took our seats to wait for the groom.
Just before the groom arrived, we noticed one of the people on the stage was carrying an oddly shaped cake wrapped in plastic. Or at least that was our best guess. The thing was multi-layered and had what looked like white balls stacked on top of each other. Still, that didn’t wholly fit because we couldn’t figure out why some lady would be holding it on the stage. And why the plastic? What it was became clear when the groom entered the room and it was ceremoniously placed upon his head. It was in fact, a hat.
The ceremony itself started with the bride attempting to place a lei of flowers over her groom’s head, a feat severely hindered by the white minaret that had been placed there. The crowd had to help her by pushing his head down and holding that colossal hat on. Then the couple went to an enclosure off to the side to chant mantras and perform rituals for an hour. We assumed that we would have to watch, but most people just milled about and ate food the whole time. It seemed there was no obligation at all to observe the high point of the ceremonies!