Submitted by Emily Luck on the 2016 winter session program in Athens, Greece sponsored by the Department of English…
As long as I can remember, I’ve been afraid of three things: heights, confined spaces and E.T. (don’t ask about the alien). This trip has forced me to confront two of those three fears head on. Greece isn’t a flat land like Delaware – if you think Pennsylvania is mountainous, you definitely have never been to Greece. There are hills everywhere, even in the heart of the city of Athens. Don’t get me wrong, I love mountains more than anything; I think they’re incredibly beautiful and I could spend the rest of my life tucked away in a mountain somewhere. It wouldn’t be an issue if the Ancient Greeks didn’t want their temples to be as close to the gods as possible (which, of course, they did). Most of our field trips involved traveling to the top of a huge mountain and walking around in ruins that have no railings or handholds. I’m petrified of heights; the thought of getting up so high, getting hit with a heavy wind and falling down hundreds of feet causes panic attacks most of the time. I wasn’t going to let this irrational fear cloud my experience, and I’m so glad that I made that decision. If it weren’t for that decision, I wouldn’t have climbed up to the top of the Acropolis and seen the Temple of Athena and the Parthenon; I wouldn’t have seen the ruins of Delphi; I wouldn’t have scaled the 999 steps to see the fortress in Nafplio. I’ve been so close to breaking down as I’m halfway up a stone staircase that could crumble under my feet and send me tumbling to my rocky death multiple times, once to the point that I almost turned back around. I haven’t had a single panic attack in the three weeks I’ve been here, which is a huge accomplishment for me. Even my new friend who I made on the program has said that I should be so proud of myself, and I really am. It’s been very difficult for me to face my fears like this, but it’s been worth every ounce of effort I’ve put into it. I want to make the most of my time here and do it to the best of my ability. I’d like to think that I’ve done an okay job so far.