Submitted by Aaron Tinkleman on the 2016 winter session program in China sponsored by the Department of Sociology and Criminal Justice..
I’ve noticed people sneezing and coughing into their hands or open air – on the subways, on the streets and in restaurants…I’ve used the bathroom in a public restaurant or popular tourist site and there’s no soap by the sinks. I’ve gotten sauce all over my hands and there hasn’t always been napkins ready at the table. I’ve constantly heard people hacking up saliva and mucus to spit on the sidewalks or street as they’re walking. It’s conceivable that people aren’t urged to use dental floss as they are in the States. These are sanitary conditions that might differ from the United States, but there are ways around most of these anyway (e.g. carry hand sanitizer). I’ve attached a couple photos showing something unusual to me.
The above observations make it easy for outsiders (e.g. me) to slip into judgment mode – China is disgusting, barbaric, etc. The basic problem with that mode is that it doesn’t allow me to grow. I’m not talking about financial growth – I’m talking about expressing a version of myself that is less negative. Practically, this is not about being blindly tolerant of others’ ideas. Rather, it’s first about recognizing that we hear new information all the time, but we tend to be really selective about how we keep things with us. I think I have enjoyed life more since I started embracing the mindset that I ought to let some things just happen, without grabbing bits and pieces out of life as it unfolds and clinging to them with the negative energy of judgment that keeps me stubborn and no fun to be around.
In daily life here in the past month (e.g. waiting for food at a restaurant), I actually laugh out loud at how I used to think much more in terms of what “should have,” “could have,” or “would have” been. But with the power of a less judgmental, more active rather than reactive mindset, I might experience life in a purer form…Just letting it happen! It doesn’t mean be passive, or make the same mistakes repeatedly; it does mean reminding myself gently (if I can) once in awhile that in order to make this experience of life more positive, I ought to embrace what’s in front of me without calling it one way or another immediately. If I don’t like it, move on next time. Without the judgments, I feel lighter – it’s not comfort, it’s freedom.