As I’m trying to write this journal, I’m finding it incredibly hard to gather my thoughts about all that has transpired in the past couple weeks. It wasn’t until recently that this pandemic truly felt real. Yesterday, March 28, 2020, I read in a news article that there have been approximately 2000 deaths related to COVID-19 in the United States. Only two days earlier than that, I read that the number of deaths had reached 1000. My jaw actually dropped thinking about such an exponential increase. Some worst-case scenario projections for the US death toll directly due to the virus exceed 2 million. This doesn’t even include the increased number of deaths that would otherwise be preventable if hospitals weren’t at capacity.

Earlier today on March 29, 2020, Dr. Anthony Fauci, Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases stated, “I just don’t think that we really need to make a projection when it’s such a moving target, that you could so easily be wrong”. To me, that translates to “We have no idea right now how bad this could get”. While some world leaders and governments may tote that there is a handle on the situation, so much is unknown and that’s largely because there isn’t enough time or resources to weigh out all the odds. To my fellow college students that feel invincible in this pandemic, evidence is coming out that young adults might be more vulnerable than initially believed. Just imagine how much more at risk someone might be if they’ve been unapologetically hitting their JUUL for the past year and weakening their respiratory system. These are still the early stages of the pandemic and there are too many factors for any predictions to hold substantial merit.

During a class discussion earlier in the semester, Professor Jenkins stated that the idea that any of us have control over our lives is an illusion. If you’ve ever needed proof of that statement, this pandemic is it. Nobody knew how to respond to the prospect of social isolation so when the idea that we would run out of toilet paper spread like wildfire, a shortage of toilet paper resulted. Panic buying is a prime example of people trying to gain some sense of control in a dangerous or unknown situation.

In this mess of uncertainty, there has been at least one undeniable truth: The Earth can recover if we cooperate. On a personal scale, social distancing, washing your hands and coughing into your elbow are all behavioral habits that can be translated into carrying reusable bags, eating less meat and riding a bike to work. While small changes are only part of the equation, every bit helps in the effort to save the planet. On an institutional scale, the US federal government has just passed a 2 trillion-dollar stimulus package for the economy. That proves that we have the have the financial resources to combat climate change and begin the road to healing the planet. State governments across the country have ordered all non-essential businesses to close. That proves that we have the power to make polluting industries cooperate. Even after just a short period of humanity’s retreat indoors, air quality around the world has increased dramatically. It has been estimated that this improvement in air quality will likely result in more lives saved than lost to COVID-19. Isn’t that ironic?

Unfortunately, the other truth that has come to light is that the only real motivator for substantial change seems to be fear.

On a more personal note, these last two weeks have been quite dull. I’ve actually decided to stay at my apartment in Delaware for the remainder of the semester. This is primarily to minimize the pool of people with which I come in contact but also because I’d have already gone crazy if I was home with my family for more than a week. I’m quite anxious for this online semester to begin because I’ve never been able to do schoolwork at home. Even in high school I would stay at school to finish my homework. After reading an article about how to be more productive at home, I learned that I am what is called a “segregator”, or someone that mentally categorizes spaces based on their purpose. This is uncharted territory so I’m doing my best to be optimistic about the possibilities that lie ahead. For example, I don’t have to wear pants to class anymore.