How can I appreciate nature at this moment? I’m not saying this in a how-could-I-POSSIBLY-enjoy-nature kind of way. I’m asking: How am I able to appreciate nature? I actually want to know the answer. To me, appreciation is the foundation of happiness. It is the complete comfort that you are surrounded by everything you need, and you don’t need anything else. It is contentment. It is not searching for beauty, but finding it. Appreciation is the profound understanding of your place in this world. It keeps our minds and hearts balanced and at ease.
How can I appreciate the water flowing down the creek, over the dark gray rocks, blurring the reds and yellows of the leaves at the ground underneath? How can I appreciate the robins calling to each other in their sophisticated language? How can I appreciate the squirrel rustling in the leaves on the right riverbank, showing its face every ten seconds or so with an acorn between its brown, furry hands? How can I appreciate the air that I am breathing and the feel of it against my cheek? How can I appreciate these fundamental pleasures and necessities of the world when my mind is not at ease, is not content, is not balanced?
Appreciation is a tricky thing. Appreciation means accepting something for what it is. It is refraining from making any outside changes because things happen the way they are going to happen. Appreciation is the absence of complaints. I recognize the robin’s song and understand it is more complex and intertwined with the whole ecosystem than I will ever comprehend. I recognize that there is a squirrel here that is gathering food so that it may survive the harsh, barren winter. I recognize that there is air present here and that I need each breath. But I cannot appreciate these things today. Appreciation for the birds and the colorful leaves that are the forever symbol of the beginning of the warm holiday season will only make me feel the pain of what is ahead more acutely. Appreciating the squirrel and its existence and meaning will only make me think of its innocence and helplessness. Appreciating the air will only make me think about the times to come when people may not appreciate breaths of fresh air because they do not know what those are. Today I cannot appreciate, for I cannot refrain from pushing for change. And I have a lot to complain about.
How can I appreciate that I am not a minority when that should never make me feel lucky? How can I appreciate the air when the thought of it immediately brings me to the reality of pollution? How can we appreciate how far we have come when we have been stripped of our progress and made clear of its lack of effect? How can we praise our diversity when it is denounced by them?
After we recognize that our souls bloom from the same spirit, after we understand that we cannot only take from the world but must give to it, after we overcome injustice, our hearts and minds will be balanced. Maybe prejudice needed to triumph on a sweeping and indisputable scale in order to get the waters of our minds and hearts flowing more powerfully. I’m sitting out here today, unappreciative, hoping for a day when I am content with the reciprocity of our souls, for a day when we are not lacking in comparison to anyone else, for a day when the earth’s protection and fortune equals my protection and fortune equals theirs equals his. On that day, I will truly appreciate.
“I’m not giving up, and neither should you.”