Sitting in class a few days ago I meditated for the first time. Many people in my life have suggested that I begin meditation to deal with my anxiety but I have always shrugged them off and never tried. As you counted down to begin, I got a thrill of excitement, yet once I shut my eyes I couldn’t silence my racing mind. Once we came back to the present and discussed our experience I was shocked to hear everyone’s positive feedback and concept of having a blank mind. Leaving class I felt discouraged and rather than being relieved and peaceful I was more stressed out having been lost in my thoughts for such a period of time. The following class when the lights dimmed and I knew we were going to meditate, my palms began to sweat. To my surprise using a new technique and focusing on all of the sounds that I heard completely put an end to my thoughts. I opened my eyes and felt so relieved. I finally had successfully meditated and it was an overwhelming happiness. While I was walking out the classroom door I decided that I would venture to White Clay and try this meditation there.
On my walk over I was very perceptive of the sounds around me, it was like my sense of hearing had just been awaken. The chatter of boyfriend drama and failed exams flooded my ears as I passed by my peers heading towards North Campus. I was picking up on others conversations more intently than I would have wanted and car horns seemed louder than I remembered. Entering White Clay Creek the reduction of noise eased my headache that had developed on my way over. As I hopped onto my island I found a comfortable spot to begin my meditation. While I was closing my eyes I let a giggle escape. The image of myself sitting Indian style in the middle of a creek all by myself trying to meditate was a bit silly but I continued on.
The first sound that I found myself attentive to was rush of the water. I then noticed the close buzz of a fly in my ear. Something that would typically drive me crazy just intrigued me. I heard him circling around my left ear, curious if it was a smell I was omitting or just my presence attracting him. In the distance I heard the rustling of leaves. The scatter of eight tiny feet playfully running across the ground grabbed my attention. Next I heard the splash of something hitting the water. I don’t know if it was just in my imagination but I swear I heard the ripple of the water and the vibration of the object spread across a larger area. Abruptly I was brought back to reality by the deep cough of a man approaching. I noticed that my mind was not completely blank but all of my worries had disappeared and I felt very calm upon standing up. It was the first time in a while that I was at peace with my own thoughts.
David Haskell has a pure and beautiful way of observing and dissecting every aspect of nature. I found his awareness of the sounds of the forest paired with my new infatuation with sound meditation to be very powerful. In his chapter Sunrise Bird’s, he reflects on this music the birds contribute to the forest. While reading his words, “The song seems to pierce through from another world, carrying with it clarity and ease, purifying me for a few moments with its grace. Then the song is gone, the veil closes, and I am left with embers of memory”, I couldn’t agree more (Haskell 83). His writing is a song with in itself. The melody of the forest melted my anxiety away and left me with a peaceful memory.