We often talk about the need for balance in working out what is the best way to handle challenging situations. This month, we focused on finding a balance between patience and passivity. When is patience a good thing, allowing us to let matters develop as they need to do rather than rushing toward a resolution, and allowing us to maintain a high quality of life while dealing with suspense, delays, disappointments, and difficult people? And when does it devolve into passivity, so that we don’t take action when we should, or we don’t stand up for ourselves when faced with impositions that should be challenged? In considering these questions, it might be useful to consider how we were taught to think about ourselves in relation to others.
Writing exercise: 10 minutes. Write about one concrete experience in the past when it was necessary to be patient — when that was the right thing to do. It might be an event in which you succeeded in being patient and are now glad that you did, or it might be an event in which you weren’t as patient as you now wish you had been. Importantly, as you write, consider what aspects of the situation make you think that patience was indeed the right thing to do at that time, rather than representing passivity or laziness.
Reflection: How do these specific examples illustrate the difference between patience and passivity? Can we define the difference? What elements might be present in a situation that signal us that it’s time to take action, or to move on?
You might also like to use one or more of these quotations as a starting point for writing.
“Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better take things as they come along with patience and equanimity.” — Carl Jung
“Who ever is out of patience is out of possession of their soul.” — Francis Bacon
“When I was 20, I thought I was 30 – but I was so far from it. When you’re young, you want everything to happen now. As you mature, you can look back and see all the great things you achieved with time and patience.” — Elisha Cuthbert
“Patience doesn’t mean making a pact with the devil of denial, ignoring our emotions and aspirations. It means being wholeheartedly engaged in the process that’s unfolding, rather than ripping open a budding flower or demanding a caterpillar hurry up and get that chrysalis stage over with.” — Sharon Salzberg
“Patience has its limits, take it too far and it’s cowardice.” — Variously attributed.
